I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Your cock deserves a montage
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
