Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
