I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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