just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
