I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
