There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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