New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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