so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
wow bdsm is so cute
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