Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
