Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
