it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize