Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
