But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize