I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
