pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
