I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
