We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
