so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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