I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
