Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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