I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
