i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
