Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
i think i have two assholes
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Randomize