omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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