It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
