nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
