why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
