We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
