Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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