STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
