Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
