Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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