ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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