sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
