I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Someone signed my nipple.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
