my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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