Do you still have your period?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Randomize
