Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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