If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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