what day is it and did you see me today?
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Randomize
