What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
