she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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