So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
