My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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