You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
