Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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