If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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