i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
