is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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