Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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