K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
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