Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
