T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
