i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize