I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
not ubering you a puppy
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
