Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
