she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
