butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I wish you could order shots online.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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