Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize