she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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