If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
My vagina is officially offended.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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