My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
