I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
just tell him i said nine months
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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