If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
