And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
