oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Omg I joined a choir last night...
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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