I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
