I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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