I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
