There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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