she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
