While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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